It’s hard to believe it has been eleven years already. Me and my husband, Billy, got married June 2nd of 2007; Personally it feels like it has been less time than that but nope it has literally been eleven years. Can’t believe during that time we have become parents of five amazing kids which have stolen our hearts and minds lol. During those years we have gone on many adventures, we have been through a lot personally and I feel like life has just been absolutely amazing.
God knew exactly what He was doing when he placed Billy into my life. It’s a funny story how we met, one of my favorite ones to talk about. It all started when I was sixteen, looking for a job to be exact. I had an interview at Hollywood video across from the mall known as North Park there in Jackson, Mississippi. When I went in for the interview they needed to reschedule due to the Manager being called away. At that time I was bummed but what happened next was no coincidence. Me and my family decided to go to the mall, it was kind of a tradition for me and my siblings to wander the mall on Saturdays. Well I went into the bookstore called B. Dalton, a smaller version of Barnes and Noble basically. They weren’t hiring but I decided to humor myself and apply, so I did. After that I went home and didn’t think anything of it. The next day I get a phone call asking me to come in Monday with all my credentials for an interview. When I got that phone call I was stunned, I went in to check it out and was hired on the spot. A week goes by, Billy was out of the store due to personal leave, he came back and that is when I met my husband for the first time. It was so weird because I knew there was something about him, I fell for him almost immediately. Love is such a funny thing and honestly this is only the beginning of how our relationship began. For the next few weeks I will be blogging about how our relationship bloomed and how love is such a precious gift.
Building a foundation in a relationship can be a process, one that needs to be taken with care and patience. Love prevails always especially when two people are devoted to each other unconditionally. I have been married for nine years and through those years I have had many ups and a lot of downs but every moment was and is worth it. Divorce has become rampant among our generation and it is heartbreaking to see, too many young people are not experiencing the true joy of love and marriage like they should because of Divorce.
Marriage should never be just an experience or a new fad to try out. It is a gift between two individuals that want to face the good and the bad together. When I met my husband I did not realize he was the one…no… but I knew he was special and boy God threw me a curve ball when he placed Billy, my husband in my life. Billy gave me unconditional love, he was, is, and will always be my soul-mate. No person is perfect and there will always be flaws in every relationship even if you are not married. You should never set unattainable goals that you two can not meet, try to balance out each others differences and work together as a unit to solve solutions that arise.
Love is a choice. You hear that many say ‘oh well I fell out of love with that person…blah blah blah’. Well that is not how it works, love is taken for granted most of the time and forgotten. There are days I struggle but no matter how bad it gets it still doesn’t warrant me to escape the bond me and my husband share. My marriage is tested daily but everyday me and my husband grow stronger together through the good and the bad. We lean on each other and build each other up to fight our battles together.
One ingredient that makes a marriage successful is usually thrown to the side though and that is GOD. If you do not have God in your marriage then you are in for a rough road but not an impossible one. It is important to build a strong foundation and a good way to do that is through prayer and Christ. God will give you the strength to overcome the hurdles you both will face in your relationship during your marriage. Even if you aren’t married and just engaged or together having God in your relationship will help you two grow closer and stronger together. Always remember never just throw in the towel, try to fight through the rough times, build on each other, and embrace life to the fullest.
There are going to be times where you think you know a woman and times where it seems like you are back at square one. Women can be very complex and should be treated as such. There are many factors that can contribute to a woman’s mood that day. Everyone has their bad days and their good days but we all express how we feel differently. As a male you have your outlets and so do women.
Women have a need for comfort and a need for love. It is what drives us, it gives us security when we have both, especially when it comes from our special man in our lives. There are many different love languages that can be attributed to helping you and the woman you care about connect. You have to be able to get to know your lover, spouse, or partner.
There are five love languages that can help you and your spouse grow in your relationship. Even if you aren’t in a relationship yet some of these languages can still apply. There is the love language of touch. Physical touch is very important. Most men and women have a sexual relationship, which is a good foundation to establish. This is an important aspect of a relationship that should be maintained. It is important that communication is just as strong as your physical relationship. Both of you need to communicate each others needs to one another. A woman is more interested in the bond and the connection she has with you, not just the physical contact. That is crucial and really helps build her trust in you.
There is also the love language of giving gifts. Can’t deny every woman loves receiving gifts from their sweetheart. It comes with the territory when in a relationship. It also helps keep the spontaneity in the relationship. Surprising her once in a while will give her a boost of confidence and self-worth. This is an act of love that you could show when she is having a bad day. Knowing your partner is important in all of the love languages, applying all of them can help you build upon and create a good foundation for your relationship. Figuring out which love language is hers is really important. It is also good if she connects with yours as well. That will help you both learn each other and will help you two grow together.
Spending quality time together is a big love language. It is one that I would apply to any relationship. You want to grow together and not apart. In your relationship it is important that you learn to apply some of your partner’s hobbies into your life as she does some of yours. Share time together even if it is to take a walk in the park or a boat ride on the lake. Finding time for each other helps you build and connect in the relationship. You will learn new and amazing things about your partner as you try new things her.
There is the acts of service. This is where you offer to do something for your spouse like cleaning the kitchen or cooking dinner. Offering her to rest while you take over shows her in action of how you feel of her well-being. That gives her a warm-safe feeling that makes her feel secure. She knows you care for her and that you are there for her. This one is also important even if it isn’t your love language or hers it still helps you build in the relationship and teaches you both to work together.
The last one is words of affirmation. This is where you use words like “I love you”, “you are so beautiful”, and “You are amazing.” Words like that are encouraging or uplifting and gives her a confidence boost and makes her feel good about herself and the relationship. It is important to a woman to know what her partner is feeling. It is really hard when men don’t express themselves or talk about how they feel to us women. Communication is crucial to a relationship. It can’t survive without both partners communicating between each other.
In conclusion all of these love languages should be applied to your relationship even if they aren’t your love language. It is important to use them to help you both grow together. This will help you two build and learn to listen to each other. Every woman and man is different. You want to make sure you make the best of the relationship. Applying these to your relationship helps you grow and learn new things about your partner you didn’t know before. Give them a try and see for yourself.