Tug-o-War

As a parent we sometimes feel just a little bit uncertain on how to approach certain situations regarding how your kids are going to react to it. That is perfectly spot on for most of us, to be honest for me I really try to do my best at preparing my kiddos but usually fail miserably. This is because I overthink the situation or I overstep. Allowing our kids to grow and learn is important. Hovering over them and constantly dictating how they should react or just act in a situation can be more harmful than helpful. I say this because I am definitely learning this with my ten year old, he is so ambitious, and very particular about many things. I have had to really take a step back and talk more with him about situations so he can make the better choice instead of me making it for him. For instance, like when he upset with his brother, how should he handle it… should he fight back by hitting or coming and talking to mommy and daddy about it so we can help him? This topic has just been really heavy on my heart because I see so many parents trying to overwhelm their children and themselves because they are holding on and fighting for so much control. Just like tug o war you fight for to much control they are going to resist and fight back. Go with the flow, allow your kids to experience, live, have fun…with boundaries of course, just understand you have to be able to let them be kids.

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Understanding Autism

Being a parent can be very difficult especially if you add autism to the mix. For me that is a challenge, one I am not too fond of. Today I find out if my third son is on the spectrum, which in a Way makes me nervous. If he is diagnosed that will make it three for three. I have five kids, three boys and two girls. None of my boys have escaped the burden of autism so far and the first screening we had with our last was not good at all.

It is so discouraging at times to watch my sons struggle everyday. My nine year old struggles the most and it just breaks my heart. Knowing that he gets bullied at school doesn’t help at all either. It is definitely a hard transition for my babies when it comes to interacting with their peers, strangers, or other social experiences. It’s sad to watch them get overwhelmed when I take them out into the store knowing many are probably viewing him as a bad kid and not one that needs comfort and understanding.

My goal here is to help bring awareness for Autism. So many don’t understand it!!! I hate when people say ‘they don’t look autistic’, well no duh, Autism is so much more involved. Every child, adult, person is different on the spectrum. First ask questions, do research but don’t judge. Until you know the struggle and heartache just pray and be more understanding. Also feel free to check out my website, The Family Way

Autism…Not for the weak!

Autism…yeah….Autism. It seems like it has become the latest news these days!  It has become a wide-spread issue among our children, one that most of us hope we never have to face.  I have seen and have heard some sorrowful stories due to the disorder of Autism.  In many ways though Autism is misunderstood.  I have two sons with Autism.  So yes I get the frustration that goes along with it.  Both of my two sons definitely are mild to moderate but I have had a taste of the pain some families have faced and still face today.

Timothy my oldest didn’t talk until he was four years of age, it was a trying time for me and my husband as we searched for answers.  We didn’t know something was wrong with him at the time.  He was our first so we thought it was us.  We heard advice and negative remarks from many different people and it broke us.  Hearing that you are doing it wrong and if you don’t do this or that then your causing the problem.  Yeah well let me break it down for you…Autism is not the Parent’s fault.  These kids are beautiful, they see the world differently.  They embrace life differently.  The way they learn is different from how you and me think.

I hate when I hear someone say “Who diagnosed him? He doesn’t look like he is on the spectrum at all?!”  Well I hate to say it…Autism effects everyone differently.  They don’t live with it, they don’t have to wake-up and see the struggle.  Yes the times you do see my child you may not see it but its there and it doesn’t matter what others think.

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Parents of Children with Autism, remember they are special and are beautifully made.  Every child is unique and they all develop at their own pace.  I have come to peace with my children’s diagnosis but I want there to be AWARENESS.  That is key.  Many don’t get it, or understand it.  That is the problem these days and why we are seeing so much debate and frustration over the matter.

Also we should fight for our schools!  We need more AWARENESS there too!  Teachers need to be taught how to deal with a child on the spectrum without calling them a problem child.  These kids are not problem children!  They are overstimulated and need extra support.  Remember Autism Awareness is key!