Being a parent can be very difficult especially if you add autism to the mix. For me that is a challenge, one I am not too fond of. Today I find out if my third son is on the spectrum, which in a Way makes me nervous. If he is diagnosed that will make it three for three. I have five kids, three boys and two girls. None of my boys have escaped the burden of autism so far and the first screening we had with our last was not good at all.
It is so discouraging at times to watch my sons struggle everyday. My nine year old struggles the most and it just breaks my heart. Knowing that he gets bullied at school doesn’t help at all either. It is definitely a hard transition for my babies when it comes to interacting with their peers, strangers, or other social experiences. It’s sad to watch them get overwhelmed when I take them out into the store knowing many are probably viewing him as a bad kid and not one that needs comfort and understanding.
My goal here is to help bring awareness for Autism. So many don’t understand it!!! I hate when people say ‘they don’t look autistic’, well no duh, Autism is so much more involved. Every child, adult, person is different on the spectrum. First ask questions, do research but don’t judge. Until you know the struggle and heartache just pray and be more understanding. Also feel free to check out my website, The Family Way
It’s a funny thing, our children are truly the product of our own habits and behaviors. We are their example to society and how they grow into adulthood. My children range from the ages of four months to nine years, big difference when it comes to personalities for all of them. I have noticed some traits that have been picked up that have really made me change how I deal with my children. Even when I was teaching I noticed how children would respond based on my reaction to the situation that was placed in front of me.
Children are so resilient compared to us adults, thank goodness for that too. For example children learn and adapt quicker which is why the experts say to intervene now and teach them the right way to act. Sometimes I have to really catch myself on how to respond to a situation so I can better help my child than give into my frustration, which can really be a challenge when you are already at your breaking point. We as Parents can have bad habits some we need to break when we have children, like curse words or shutting your child out. This does your child no good and ends up putting up a wall between you and your child.
When I got pregnant for the first time I was told by many wise ladies to not befriend my children but to parent them. This is so true, I am not my children’s best friend, I am their mother. As their mother I love them unconditionally and protect them with all I have. It is my job to teach them to grow into respectful well-mannered adults. It’s not the school’s job, the grandparents’ job, or anyone else’s job either. It’s okay to hurt your child’s feelings by disciplining them or getting on to them when they have done something wrong. They need that structured environment to thrive, they need boundaries to feel safe and secure. Always remember you are their superhero, you are their role model in life.
Managing stress can be a difficult task, especially if you have a lot of factors contributing it! Finding ways to help alleviate the anxiety and overwhelming feeling of stress can be a great way of overcoming it. Recently baking has been my stress outlet, I have been making a lot of different kinds of muffins. It seems like they are a hit considering when I do bake them they vanish. Baking cookies also has been a delight to try. It’s fun to experiment in the kitchen, I just love making new creations. It is also a good way to connect with your little ones as well.
There are so many ways to bring on stress and so many ways to counteract it also. Sitting down and playing games, coloring pictures, and silly songs with your little ones can really help you zone into a more calming attitude. Find a hobby, go out and see friends, take chances, and embrace life to the fullest. No matter how much stress is on your plate your situation is only temporary.
Last year was full of adventures just like this year is starting to blossom. We brought in the New Year with our newest addition to our growing family, Jewel Florence Bennett, who was born January 15th. Having five kids has definitely taught me that patience is a definite necessity to keeping a cool on the craziest of moments. Personally it is such a joy as a mother to see all my kids be so attentive and active with each other.
Change has never been my strength which has been something I have been having to deal with for the last three years. I feel like I have grown and matured so much from all the hurdles that we as a family have had to endure. Losing loved ones, illness, and many other struggles have really pushed us in so many directions but in the end God has brought us through all these tough times.
I have really enjoyed learning and growing from everything I have personally have had to face over the last few years. Taking one day at a time is a true benefit that most of us don’t take advantage of. I learned the hard way that stressing over things that are out of my control or are far off will only bring stress and emotionally drain me causing me to be apathetic at times.
Enjoying the time you have with your family, laughing at the funny and crazy moments, embracing the difficult and trying times, and giving your all is what life should be all about. Watching my kids play, being silly, making and discovering new things, making memories, and just being kids is what reminds me of how blessed I am. It also reminds me that I should take it all in because time doesn’t stand still, it passes so quickly. If we worry about the little stuff and stress we are going to miss out on the greatest moments that are right in front of us.
These last few weeks have been a challenge for me and as a result my blogging got put on the back burner for a bit. Life surely has its twists and turns, most you don’t even expect or see until you are faced with the dilemma.
I have learned though with all the stress, pain, and endurance we feel there will always beat sense of self worth and achievement that follows. I recently had to learn the hard way that stressing is not the answer to any problem, all it did was make me very sick.
As change enters my family again I try to remind myself that no matter how difficult or stressful a situation may seem there is always a way to make the transition more enjoyable.
Ways to Cope with Stress…
- Take a Break: walk away from the problem or project. Give yourself a break to re-evaluate your game plan.
- Eat and Drink lots of Water! Make sure you are taking care of YOU! That always helps when faced with a stressful dilemma.
- Take a Warm Bath or Shower 😌
- Take notes or jot down what your goals are! This is a great way to see where your head is at.
- Prayer is a top priority when stress is involved, there is Ning too great for God!
I hope these coping mechanisms help you all that do deal with stress on a day to day basis.
The last few days have been super busy and slightly unproductive but I have made lots of great memories that I will always cherish. This past week has been full of the ups and downs and we are in the middle of trying to buy a house so that doesn’t help with the crazy but making memories with my little ones have been so rewarding over the last week. Like the other day, as crazy as it got there were some hilarious moments that had me rolling on the floor. For instance when I knocked over the corn mill on one of my cats in the kitchen while trying to make snacks for the kids and put up groceries, along while the kids are running throughout the house with the video game blaring in the background. Yes those are the funny yet crazy moments that I love. No matter how crazy your day can get there is always a way to turn around that moment into a cherished one. Cherish the moment, scrap book it, take pictures, embrace it and enjoy it! I don’t want to regret I want to remember all the fun, the good, the excitement I have and will have with my kids. 🙂
Sometimes I wonder if I am literally in the twilight zone :). Laundry everywhere, toys scattered like death traps…Yikes! and video games a blaring while the cats are chasing each other from one end to the house to the other. Yep, that is a typical day for me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being a mom is so enjoyable and has so much meaning. Through the crazy and dramatic moments there are always unforgettable memories being created. Life is like a story book with lots of amazing pictures. The memories are the pictures and as you gain them you are building on your story. So what is your story… What is your adventure?
We all have a story to tell no matter how interesting, strange, out of this world it may sound. Everyone is different and has a purpose to fulfill. No one can write your story except yourself. Mine is to serve the Lord ALL the days of my life, standing by my beloved husband through it all, to be the best Mom I can possibly be to my Children, and live my life to the fullest! 🙂