Being a parent can be very difficult especially if you add autism to the mix. For me that is a challenge, one I am not too fond of. Today I find out if my third son is on the spectrum, which in a Way makes me nervous. If he is diagnosed that will make it three for three. I have five kids, three boys and two girls. None of my boys have escaped the burden of autism so far and the first screening we had with our last was not good at all.
It is so discouraging at times to watch my sons struggle everyday. My nine year old struggles the most and it just breaks my heart. Knowing that he gets bullied at school doesn’t help at all either. It is definitely a hard transition for my babies when it comes to interacting with their peers, strangers, or other social experiences. It’s sad to watch them get overwhelmed when I take them out into the store knowing many are probably viewing him as a bad kid and not one that needs comfort and understanding.
My goal here is to help bring awareness for Autism. So many don’t understand it!!! I hate when people say ‘they don’t look autistic’, well no duh, Autism is so much more involved. Every child, adult, person is different on the spectrum. First ask questions, do research but don’t judge. Until you know the struggle and heartache just pray and be more understanding. Also feel free to check out my website, The Family Way
Last night me and Billy had a movie night at the house. It’s a tradition when the kids go to sleep that we spend time with each other either playing board games, talking, Bible Study, or even Movie Nights. We decided on Escape Plan!! Such a great movie, it really had my mind going. Scary thought that their are people who could possibly be that smart savvy to figure out how to break out of every prison built by man. It was definitely interesting and I do recommend it for a date night for couples! Not recommended for kids though! Hope everyone is having a great day. Here is the trailer below!
The other night I posted a blog relating to spending time with your little ones by having a movie night! Well now I am going to touch base on making time for your spouse. It is important to focus on your spouse even when you have kids. Trust me I know it can be difficult especially if you aren’t used to multi-tasking and don’t have any time management skills. What I do is normally send the kids to bed at their normal bedtime which is between 8-8:30. Once they are in bed me and my husband talk about movie options, we make sure we have snacks available to enjoy as we watch the movie also. Normally we pick a movie we both like but there are times we also take turns of who gets to pick the movie next.
This is a great way to bond with your spouse. I call it our date night and it works, at least for us. Sometimes we will even play board games, write together, even just sit down and talk and eat together. It is important to make time with your spouse and the evenings are a great chance to do that. For our schedule it definitely works but I understand that everyone is different and may have unusual work schedules.
It is healthy in a marriage to make sure you are connecting with your spouse. I am sad to say I have witnessed so many divorces over the last eleven years that me and my husband have been married. Most of them only lasting between two to four years. It has been a mission that I have been trying to pursue since I have noticed the drastic incline of divorce rates since we got married. Another factor I would encourage to help with growing a healthy marriage is communication. Make sure you and your spouse are talking to each other, it helps build a much stronger bond between the two of you and you start to understand your partner much better than before. Hope these little tid-bits help.
The last two weeks have been quite funny, especially because it seems like everywhere you look kids are so caught up with their electronics. The first week of July our internet went out and I have got to say hands down my kids’ reaction was priceless. They didn’t know how to react. It was a shock, it’s like they couldn’t figure out what to do next. Every minute they would ask “when will it be back on?” or “is it fixed yet?”, it was quite funny. We sent them outside to play while the At&t worker did his magic.
It really had me thinking of when I was as a child and how I was always outside running around getting into mischief. My kids need time to use their imagination which had me thinking I really need to cut back their time with their electronics including the television. Recently they have been thriving from the time away from all the media and have bonded more with each other. They interacted more with each other which is great overall for their social development.
In the long run I will be setting up a schedule that will allow so much time for them to choose if they want to watch television or play a video game. Choices are good but should be limited when giving options. You don’t want to overwhelm your children which will end up in disaster. That is also why I posted about movie night with the kids, that is a great way to encourage the kids to enjoy family time while watching one of their favorite movies or shows.
For instance, when I was a child we would go out and play hide and go seek, tag, freeze tag, football, and jump rope. There are endless games that can be played it is just that our children have been born in an era where it has been overshadowed by media and electronic devices. When I went to the store the other day I made sure to buy them a soccer ball. In my younger years I loved kicking around a soccer ball so my first thought was ‘I am going to get my kids one’. They absolutely love it.
Exercise is so important for children, getting them outside to play, it’s crucial for their physical development and also their mental status. On another note I have decided to work out with my kids, for instance, like taking daily walks or playing games outside with them. This helps me and the kids bond and get our blood pumping. When outside though, especially in the summer, it is good to make sure you have access to water, so you can stay hydrated. The heat index can be a lot hotter than usually predicted and that can be a problem for you and your children. During the summer months I always make sure my kids have access to a Little Tikes kiddy pool so that they can also have water play even with water guns when we are outside. This helps them stay cool and have fun at the same time.
Today I got a lot of one on one with my kids. It was nice considering I normally seem to be caught up with so much unnecessary stuff throughout the day. To be honest I just get busy and forget how important it is to spend time with the kids. Our children need attention, it is important to give them that. It helps there imaginative play, their social skills, and overall mental health. Kids thrive on having their parents attention. Me and my daughter got to play with her barbies, it was quite fun to go back in time and pretend to be a kid again. With my boys it was war, playing with army men.
As an adult I feel like all I do is stress and dwell on the negative but when my kids play with me or vice versa I actually feel much better. I am able to actually be myself and enjoy some quality time with my kids. Also I have really gotten to love the outside time with them also, especially with the water guns. My boys are very sneaky and have gotten me good many times this summer.
I think taking a time out and taking a break from adulthood is good. It helps me take a breather and feel refreshed. My kids are happy and truly enjoy the time as well. Just seeing their face when I am there spending time with them brightens my day. I encourage all parents to try it, take some time to just sit down and spend some quality time with their little ones. You might actually find it to be an amazing experience an a chance to make unforgettable memories.
You know as a parent privacy is hard to come by. It is so true. To be honest in my opinion I feel like when I make a phone call that is the time you will see my children show their true crazy nature. It brings the maniac out of my kids! Getting on the phone especially if it is an important phone call my kids go bananas. It’s “Mommy I need this.” “Mommy I want to talk.” and so on. Then I will have some of them even try to climb me as I am on the phone. Yep my kids are definitely the attention speaking type.
Getting on another point I have noticed that the same behavior comes out when we have visitors. They can’t just sit quietly or play calmly, nope, that would be too easy. It’s like they have this initial embedded beacon that goes off when mommy is doing something or visiting with someone. It is quite humorous in a way.
Parenthood is definitely funny, there are days that I feel like I am in a comedy show. Kids do funny things especially when they have an audience. There are times I wish that I could catch some of the stuff they do on camera, I would be famous. Just kidding. But it is true, kids are funny. When I get overwhelmed I just have to think of the funny crazy moments and remember they are just being kids. As an adult I feel like I have forgotten the true nature of being a kid. When I sit down and spend time with my kiddos I get a taste of how I felt in my childhood and it helps me relate to them better. So spend time with your kids. Laugh together. Make unforgettable memories. Live life to the fullest.
Today I ran across one of the funniest life hacks hat had me on the floor laughing. The image it gave me of when I was a teenager was priceless! To be honest an image of teenagers today going through phone withdrawals is just overbearingly hilarious. The life hack quotes this:
It’s a funny thing, our children are truly the product of our own habits and behaviors. We are their example to society and how they grow into adulthood. My children range from the ages of four months to nine years, big difference when it comes to personalities for all of them. I have noticed some traits that have been picked up that have really made me change how I deal with my children. Even when I was teaching I noticed how children would respond based on my reaction to the situation that was placed in front of me.
Children are so resilient compared to us adults, thank goodness for that too. For example children learn and adapt quicker which is why the experts say to intervene now and teach them the right way to act. Sometimes I have to really catch myself on how to respond to a situation so I can better help my child than give into my frustration, which can really be a challenge when you are already at your breaking point. We as Parents can have bad habits some we need to break when we have children, like curse words or shutting your child out. This does your child no good and ends up putting up a wall between you and your child.
When I got pregnant for the first time I was told by many wise ladies to not befriend my children but to parent them. This is so true, I am not my children’s best friend, I am their mother. As their mother I love them unconditionally and protect them with all I have. It is my job to teach them to grow into respectful well-mannered adults. It’s not the school’s job, the grandparents’ job, or anyone else’s job either. It’s okay to hurt your child’s feelings by disciplining them or getting on to them when they have done something wrong. They need that structured environment to thrive, they need boundaries to feel safe and secure. Always remember you are their superhero, you are their role model in life.
There are going to be times where you think you know a woman and times where it seems like you are back at square one. Women can be very complex and should be treated as such. There are many factors that can contribute to a woman’s mood that day. Everyone has their bad days and their good days but we all express how we feel differently. As a male you have your outlets and so do women.
Women have a need for comfort and a need for love. It is what drives us, it gives us security when we have both, especially when it comes from our special man in our lives. There are many different love languages that can be attributed to helping you and the woman you care about connect. You have to be able to get to know your lover, spouse, or partner.
There are five love languages that can help you and your spouse grow in your relationship. Even if you aren’t in a relationship yet some of these languages can still apply. There is the love language of touch. Physical touch is very important. Most men and women have a sexual relationship, which is a good foundation to establish. This is an important aspect of a relationship that should be maintained. It is important that communication is just as strong as your physical relationship. Both of you need to communicate each others needs to one another. A woman is more interested in the bond and the connection she has with you, not just the physical contact. That is crucial and really helps build her trust in you.
There is also the love language of giving gifts. Can’t deny every woman loves receiving gifts from their sweetheart. It comes with the territory when in a relationship. It also helps keep the spontaneity in the relationship. Surprising her once in a while will give her a boost of confidence and self-worth. This is an act of love that you could show when she is having a bad day. Knowing your partner is important in all of the love languages, applying all of them can help you build upon and create a good foundation for your relationship. Figuring out which love language is hers is really important. It is also good if she connects with yours as well. That will help you both learn each other and will help you two grow together.
Spending quality time together is a big love language. It is one that I would apply to any relationship. You want to grow together and not apart. In your relationship it is important that you learn to apply some of your partner’s hobbies into your life as she does some of yours. Share time together even if it is to take a walk in the park or a boat ride on the lake. Finding time for each other helps you build and connect in the relationship. You will learn new and amazing things about your partner as you try new things her.
There is the acts of service. This is where you offer to do something for your spouse like cleaning the kitchen or cooking dinner. Offering her to rest while you take over shows her in action of how you feel of her well-being. That gives her a warm-safe feeling that makes her feel secure. She knows you care for her and that you are there for her. This one is also important even if it isn’t your love language or hers it still helps you build in the relationship and teaches you both to work together.
The last one is words of affirmation. This is where you use words like “I love you”, “you are so beautiful”, and “You are amazing.” Words like that are encouraging or uplifting and gives her a confidence boost and makes her feel good about herself and the relationship. It is important to a woman to know what her partner is feeling. It is really hard when men don’t express themselves or talk about how they feel to us women. Communication is crucial to a relationship. It can’t survive without both partners communicating between each other.
In conclusion all of these love languages should be applied to your relationship even if they aren’t your love language. It is important to use them to help you both grow together. This will help you two build and learn to listen to each other. Every woman and man is different. You want to make sure you make the best of the relationship. Applying these to your relationship helps you grow and learn new things about your partner you didn’t know before. Give them a try and see for yourself.